Today, we’re talking about self-management and self-control – the second pillar of Emotional Intelligence. This pillar focuses on being able to control your emotions. 

Start with taking your self-management / self-control temperature. Here are some common traits that signify a high competency in managing your emotions. 

  • You are open to change. You understand that everything changes, and you don’t try to fight it; you embrace it. 
  • You are trustworthy. You trust yourself, the decisions you make, and others. 
  • You are impeccable with your words. You do what you say you will do when you say you will do it, and do not do things you have decided not to do. 

If you are looking to improve this area of your Emotional Intelligence, try the following: 

  • Be aware of self-talk: When the negative starts creeping in, hear it, count to ten, and say, “Hey there, I’m not good enough. I hear you. Please come back another day.” This is a good interrupter to get you back to positive self-talk. 
  • Smile and laugh more. This works in almost all cases. 
  • Think about what you can learn from a jerk. It’s easy to get emotional when encountering a not-so-pleasant human. So, instead of letting your blood pressure spike, consider what traits this person exhibits and reflect to ensure you aren’t embodying those same traits. 
  • Watch your outbursts. Even if you apologize, the other person may forgive you, but it’s hard to forget. 

As you go about the week, be mindful of your interactions. Try to learn from others – even the jerks.

Life is good. 

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